Feeling a little sad that I’m unable to be around Mason today. Trying to take it one day at a time. These 100 days are so critical in recovery that I just need to do it right. Mind over body. Trying to stay positive for the most part, can’t help but break down sometimes. This is just a little bump in the road. I’m ready for many more years ahead. Mason asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up….my response “I want to be your mommy forever.” I just want to be healthy. I want to see him grow.
I’m feeling better today than I was yesterday. Still a little fatigued though. The little bit of hair on my head is still falling out. My skin is peeling from the radiation. I take a handful of medications twice a day. Getting stronger everyday!
914. It’s almost been 2 weeks since I’ve been admitted. My numbers seem to be dropping slow. I got platelets and blood today. #vampirestatus I was hoping to be home for mother’s day, but that might not happen. It’s been a week and a day since my last chemo treatment. Let the hair growth begin!!! It’ll probably take me 3 years to grow back to my original length. But that’s ok, hair is hair. I am happy to be alive.
Woke up feeling in a better mood. 🙂 My numbers look good and hopefully I’ll be able to go home soon. My back is still throbbing a bit, but I guess that’s expected. Hope everyone has a great day today. I can’t wait til I can breathe some fresh outdoor air.
A little Snapchat fun to keep my mind occupied. Everyone seems so busy with their lives while I sit here and wait. I’m here to live another day, but I miss my normal life. Today my family’s taking my son to the circus. I feel like I’m missing out on these very important memories with them. Wish I could see the face of my son as he watches the circus for the very first time. I miss him so much and really can’t wait to be reunited in his tiny little arms around me. I fell in the shower yesterday and the old lady pains are starting to show up in my body. My lower back and butt are achy. So now I’m considered a high falls risk patient. They’ll be setting a bed alarm on me.
#stellastrong #kickincancersbutt #leukemiasucks
919. It’s been about a week and a half since I’ve been in this hospital room. I had such vivid dreams last night. Trying to stay positive in spite of being away from my lil man. ❤️ I miss him so much and am so happy that I’m almost done with chemo. I noticed that my hair is starting to grow back a little. My eyebrows and eyelashes too. Woo hoo!! I’m hoping it’s here to stay even though I have ONE more treatment left!! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!! Trying to figure out what life will be like when this is all over. Will I still be me? Have I changed? What will my perspective on life be like? I know I must live everyday to its fullest because tomorrow it never guaranteed. I’ve been through quite a lot in my life, but I’ve been a trooper. I just want to live a happy life.
Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.
Thoughts for the day.
Custody and visitation has been established! Woo hoo. I feel like I can finally move forward and start over. Mason has spent 4 full weekends with his dad. I’m trying to be more productive. I’ve been trying to redecorate the place, but I have zero creativity.